Radical Non-Judgement (with Chris Brock)
The Haven (Private Podcast): (Protected Content)
Like many of us, Chris had ticked all the right boxes. He worked hard, built a strong CV, and found success in journalism, editing magazines in New York and London. But eventually the foundations began to shift, and cracks emerged. Careers faltered. Fulfilment faded. A low point arrived, and with it, questions that many highly sensitive people quietly carry: Where did I go wrong? Why do I feel so out of place?
It was during this period that his wife gently held up a mirror: “Every time we go out I feel like I have to cheer you up.” That was a turning point. Not a dramatic transformation, but a subtle shift—a first step inwards towards what would eventually become a practice of radical self-honesty, reflection, and healing.
Resentment as a Red Flag
Chris spoke with clarity about the internal narratives that quietly shape our lives—particularly resentment. This emotion is often masked as righteous anger or silent bitterness, but at its core, resentment signals a misalignment. It festers when we perceive injustice, particularly when we feel unseen or undervalued.
He shared the image of driving his delivery van through affluent neighbourhoods and noticing how resentment would rise when he saw people in luxury cars. He would deny them passage at junctions. In those moments, the resentment fed itself—he acted it out and received reactions that reinforced his story: they don’t deserve what they have.
This cycle is not unfamiliar to those of us who are sensitive to fairness and injustice. But Chris highlighted something essential—resentment restricts our inner flow. It shuts down compassion, connection, and creativity. The less we let others through the junctions of life, the more we block ourselves as well.
Radical Non-Judgement and Sonder
What resonated deeply in our conversation was Chris’s emphasis on radical non-judgement. For sensitive people especially, the weight of judgement—both received and given—can be overwhelming. But radical non-judgement is not about passivity or denial. It’s about clarity. It’s about choosing not to play the role we’ve been scripted into.
We talked about the idea of sonder, the realisation that every person around us is living a life as vivid and complex as our own. This is more than a poetic notion—it’s a practical lens that softens our assumptions. When we move through life without jumping to conclusions, we create space. Space to listen, to respond, and to recognise the humanity in those we find difficult.
Radical non-judgement doesn’t mean agreeing with everyone. It doesn’t mean avoiding necessary conversations. It simply means we stop dehumanising people because of the narrow lens through which we see them. This allows us to acknowledge that we do not know their whole story—and that’s okay.
Letting Go of the Need to Be Right
Chris shared how, over time, he learned to interrupt his own patterns. Moments of anger or tension became opportunities to ask: Is it worth it? He recalled how, during a phase of personal change, he would walk around muttering “let it go” under his breath like a quiet mantra. Gradually, this simple act transformed how he experienced the world.
This is especially useful for highly sensitive people, whose nervous systems are often overwhelmed by confrontation, sensory input, or emotional friction. The urge to be understood can be intense. But so too can be the relief of releasing that need. Letting go of the compulsion to be right—to be approved of—can open up entirely new ways of being.
Living in the System, But Not Of It
As our conversation drew to a close, we explored the idea of being “in the system but not of the system.” In a world that profits from our insecurity and urges us to judge, to perform, to conform—how do we live with integrity?
Chris offered a few simple practices:
- Be mindful of what you consume—media, messages, language.
- Make space to slow down—meditation, journaling, stillness.
- Practice gratitude for small, everyday things.
- Interrupt reactive patterns before they shape your reality.
These aren’t revolutionary in themselves. But when practiced consistently, they help us detach from the noise and return to what’s essential. They allow us to become authors of our own lives, rather than reactive players in someone else’s story.
Radical Non-Judgement, Gentleness, and Quiet Rebellion
For me, this conversation with Chris Brock reaffirmed the quiet strength in gentle rebellion. Radical non-judgement and radical acceptance are not soft or passive acts—they are deeply intentional, courageous choices. They invite us to pause, listen, and return to our centre.
In a world that rewards noise, we can choose stillness. In a world that trades in outrage, we can practise empathy. And in a world obsessed with labels, we can embrace our full, undefinable selves—and extend that same grace to others.
If you’re a highly sensitive person, struggling to stay grounded in a judgement-heavy world, perhaps start by observing your own patterns. Notice where resentment shows up. Where assumptions arise. Where you’re tempted to label. And simply ask: What if I don’t have to?
