How would you know if you’re satisfied?

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What would you say makes something satisfying for you? How do you recognise that you’re satisfied?

It’s not always easy to answer those questions. It’s something I’ve explored a lot over the past few years, both personally and in conversations with others who feel caught in a tug-of-war between doing what they feel they ought to do and what actually brings them an intrinsic sense of satisfaction.

If you’re trying to make creativity part of your life in some way, it can be difficult to balance sustainability and intrinsic satisfaction. We may hand it over to external measures and signals, such as numbers, praise, and money.

Because they’re easier to measure, we often associate satisfaction with outcomes and goals. But if our actions are only motivated by those kinds of extrinsic metrics, especially when they’re personally pretty meaningless, we can end up feeling disconnected from what we’re doing.

One of the things I’ve really enjoyed in my work with people is helping peel back the layers of story that can build up like a fog and identifying their own unique signals of satisfaction shining through it. When we recognise these things, we can develop greater confidence in our creative voice and follow a more meaningful pathway through our projects and lives.

Satisfaction in the process

What brings you satisfaction in the process?

What brings you glimmers of connection along the way?

When you’ve enjoyed the journey towards an outcome in the past, what made it meaningful for you?

Maybe it was working alongside other people and feeling a sense of camaraderie. Perhaps it was figuring things out, solving problems, or seeing things come together that you couldn’t have foreseen before you started.

Satisfaction with the response

What brings you satisfaction in the response?

What kinds of responses give you a sense that your effort was worthwhile?

Maybe it’s when you realise someone gets it. Perhaps it’s feeling seen and appreciated for the care you’ve put into something. Maybe it’s when people tell others about it, or it might be receiving some form of reward or recognition.

I always remember someone coming up to me after I played a gig to an almost empty room, saying they had almost decided not to come, but were really glad they did. They said, “There’s nowhere else in the world I would rather have been this evening.”

That stuck with me.

Of course, it’s nice to play to bigger crowds. But moments like that changed how I think about satisfaction. Some of my favourite memories come from small shows that might look like failures on paper but felt deeply meaningful once I moved beyond judging everything by numbers and vanity metrics.

Satisfaction with the impact

What brings you satisfaction in the impact?

When you see something you’ve done making ripples in the world around you, what gives you a sense of satisfaction?

Maybe it’s seeing people follow your example and pay something forward. Perhaps it’s seeing someone change in some way because of your effort. Or maybe it’s simply knowing that your work brings more curiosity, laughter, appreciation, understanding, or joy into the world.

I find it deeply meaningful when I hear from people about how my music has helped them. Knowing that a song has helped someone through a challenging time in their life feels very satisfying. It can’t be forced, though. Part of that satisfaction comes from the surprise of receiving messages from people, which is why I choose to keep the doorways for communication open.

Satisfaction with the result

When the endeavour is complete, what gives you that feeling of satisfaction?

Maybe it’s the money. Perhaps it’s holding the finished thing in your hand. Maybe it’s seeing it out there in the world. Or finally being able to let go and move on. Knowing it’s done, it’s complete, it exists.

How do you know when you’re satisfied? What does it feel like in your body?

Between The External and Internal Locus of Evaluation

The psychologist Carl Rogers drew a distinction between an external locus of evaluation and an internal locus of evaluation.

An external locus might mean waiting for applause, approval, or recognition before allowing yourself to feel satisfied.

An internal locus is more about trusting your own felt sense of meaning and alignment, even if nobody else fully gets or appreciates it.

When we rely exclusively on external evaluation, we can become trapped in the tug-of-war between what we genuinely connect with and what others validate. We end up waiting for permission to feel satisfied. We might also avoid speaking up about things people don’t want to hear, and shrink back from doing things we anticipate will be criticised, even when they are important to our deeper values and principles.

An internal locus helps us stay connected to satisfaction on our own terms. It reminds us that even if the ideal response never comes, there may still be good reasons to feel deeply satisfied with what we’ve done. Internally oriented satisfaction taps into the felt sense that we’ve done the right thing, even if others disagree.

At the start of a project or endeavour, it can help to ask: Why does this matter to me, regardless of how others respond to it?

Much of this can’t be forced or manipulated. But it helps to become more aware of the small, slow things that give us intrinsic satisfaction, because it then becomes much easier to recognise them when they appear.

It also helps us filter opportunities and invitations. We begin to recognise whether something genuinely aligns with what we find satisfying, or whether it’s mostly a vanity metric or a hollow signifier of success.

And from there, we can start making more informed decisions about what’s actually worth saying yes to.

Does any of this feel alive for you right now?

Drop me a message of book a Pick The Lock call if you would find it useful to explore with someone else.