Finding Meaning Beyond Our Personality Labels (with Brian Little)
We often turn to personality labels—introvert, extrovert, Type A—to explain who we are. But what if these categories, rather than clarifying our identity, actually constrain it? In a thought-provoking discussion with Professor Brian Little, Cambridge psychologist and author of Me, Myself, and Us, we explore how personality truly works—and how to use it to build a life of purpose.
The Free Trait Paradox: When “Faking It” Is Authentic
One of Professor Little’s most transformative ideas is the free trait theory: the notion that we regularly act “out of character” to pursue what matters most.
- An introverted teacher becomes animated in lectures because educating is a core project—a value so vital it overrides their natural preference for solitude.
- A disagreeable person practices patience to nurture a relationship they cherish.
But these stretches aren’t free. They require restorative niches—dedicated time to revert to our baseline (like quiet for the introvert or socializing for the extrovert).
“A free trait is where you enact a script to advance a project that matters to you,” Little explains. “But without restoration, you risk burnout.”
The Three Natures That Shape You
- Biogenic nature – Your genetic wiring
- Sociogenic nature – Cultural and social conditioning
- Idiogenic nature – Your personal projects and values
Professor Little introduces a third force:
This third element—what you choose to pursue—is the wild card. It’s why two people with similar traits can live radically different lives.
Personal Constructs: The Stories That Shape Your Reality
Drawing on psychologist George Kelly’s work, Little explores how we all create mental frameworks to interpret the world. These personal constructs (e.g., “success = prestige” or “love = sacrifice”) guide our decisions—but can become prisons if left unexamined.
The solution? Cognitive flexibility. “The more ways you have to understand an experience,” Little notes, “the more resilient you become when life disrupts your narrative.”
The Happiness of Pursuit
Chasing happiness often backfires. Instead, Little advocates for “the happiness of pursuit”—finding joy in meaningful endeavors, even when they’re challenging.
Whether raising a child, creating art, or caring for an aging parent, these projects connect us to something larger than ourselves. *”Sustainable well-being,”* he argues, “comes from engagement, not attainment.”
Why Labels Limit You
While frameworks like the Big Five offer useful insights, over-identifying with them (e.g., “I’m neurotic, so I’ll always be anxious”) shrinks your potential. Little urges us to see personality labels as tendencies, not destinies:
“Personality should expand your freedom to act, not justify staying stuck.”
The Flow State Clue
In a revealing aside, Little shares that he feels “most himself” when playing music—a state of flow where self-consciousness dissolves. This echoes a universal truth: Who we are isn’t static; it’s revealed in what we love doing.
Personality Labels are a Palette, Not a Prison
Whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or neither, the key to a fulfilling life isn’t changing your nature—it’s channeling and knowing where and when to stretch it:
- Identify core projects – What matters enough to stretch for?
- Balance acting and restoring – Honor your needs after free-trait moments.
- Stay flexibly minded – Update your self-narratives as you grow.
As Professor Little reminds us: “You are both the artist and the artwork. Paint boldly.”
Personality labels can be useful to help us gain self-awareness. But we need to know when and how to let go when they have served that purpose.
