Help! I Accidentally Built a Community (with Jenn Granneman)

Have you ever shared your thoughts or experiences only to realise they resonate with others too? If so, you might be accidentally building a community.

This was the experience of Jenn Granneman, founder of Introvert, Dear. What started as a personal blog about processing life as an introvert evolved into a growing community of people who saw themselves in Jenn’s experiences. I was keen to ask her how she navigated this growth and whether she has any tips to help introverts and highly sensitive people in similar positions to do the same.

Are You an Introvert Who Accidentally Built a Community? What Now?

Leading a growing community can be rewarding but also overwhelming. So, what can we do to make it easier? These steps and tools are distilled from my conversation with Jenn in 2015, when Introvert Dear was still in its early stages and long before she started Highly Sensitive Refuge.

Step 1: Recognise the Emergence of a Community

Signs a Community is Growing Around You:

• People regularly respond to and engage with what you share.
• They seek advice, resonate with your stories, or look to you for leadership.
• Conversations begin to form organically between your followers.

Tool: Create a simple list of community interactions you’ve noticed. Are people asking similar questions or sharing their stories in response to yours? Identifying this pattern can help you determine if a community is building.

Step 2: Acknowledge Your Leadership Role (Even If Accidental)

Introverts might sometimes shy away from the term “leader,” but leading doesn’t mean dominating—it’s about guiding, facilitating, and supporting.

Shift Your Mindset:

• Leadership doesn’t mean sacrificing your energy; it’s about sharing ideas and enabling others to participate.
• Your temperament as an introvert or HSP brings unique strengths to leadership, such as thoughtfulness and empathy.

Tool: Reflect on your comfort zone. Write down what aspects of leadership excite you versus what feels draining.

Step 3: Set Boundaries Early and Often

As Jenn Granneman learned, balancing a community with other commitments (like a full-time teaching job) is critical.

Protect Your Energy:

• Schedule “quiet time” for yourself to recharge.
• Define your availability to the community and stick to it.

Tool: Use a time-blocking method to plan community-related work around your personal life and self-care.

Step 4: Let the Community Shape Its Identity

You are not responsible for dictating every detail of your community’s growth. Instead, trust its members to contribute. Once you have established the vision and values of the community in a way that feels good (and manageable) to you, you can let things evolve and grow organically.

• Encourage members to share their own stories or ideas.
• Create tracks and spaces for interactions (e.g., discussion threads, forums).

Tool: Use community polls or surveys to understand their needs and preferences. This reduces guesswork and ensures you’re addressing what matters most.

Step 5: Ask for Help

Many introverts and HSPs hesitate to delegate, but seeking help isn’t a weakness—it’s necessary for sustainable growth.

• Recruit like-minded individuals who align with your vision.
• Start small, with tasks that feel comfortable to delegate.

Tool: Create a checklist of tasks you regularly perform for the community. Identify which ones someone else could easily take over.

Step 6: Build Community With a Focus on What Truly Matters

As an introvert, you thrive when your energy is spent on meaningful work. Let go of perfectionism and prioritise the tasks that have the most impact.

Ask Yourself:

• Does this particular task (or additional feature) align with the community’s core purpose?
• Will it foster meaningful connections or personal growth?

Tool: Use the Eisenhower Matrix (Urgent vs. Important) to decide what to tackle, delegate, or discard.

Step 7: Protect and Nurture Your Members

• Jenn emphasised protecting her community—creating a safe, inclusive space where members feel valued and free to express themselves.
• Establish clear guidelines for respectful interactions.
• Be transparent about your values and goals.

Tool: Draft a community “manifesto” or set of principles. Share this with members to align expectations.

Step 8: Learn From Others

• Jenn drew inspiration from others who successfully balanced community leadership with personal challenges.
• Seek mentors, peers, or even books and blogs for guidance.

Tool: Build a “learning library” of resources from leaders you admire. Podcasts, books, or online communities can be excellent sources of inspiration.

Facilitating Community Without Losing Yourself

You don’t have to lead like an extrovert to build a meaningful and thriving community. By embracing your unique strengths and taking intentional steps, you can foster a flourishing community while honouring your needs as an introvert or HSP.

Remember: Leadership is a journey, and growing into the role at your own pace is okay.

It’s also worth remembering that you will not create a community that caters for everyone. Some members (and potential members) are loud and demanding. You might be tempted to make decisions and change things because of their demands. It’s OK to let people go if those things are too much for you or don’t fit your passions and purposes. Maybe this is not the right community for that particular person.

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