A Handful of Mustard Seeds (A Parable For Serenity)
Serenity might feel like an ideal state, a place where we’ve risen above the chaos and messiness of life. But true serenity doesn’t come when we retreat or escape. It’s a state of being we experience when we realise we are not alone in the alienation and loneliness we might feel during times of pain and suffering.
To illustrate this, we can explore a powerful parable that speaks to the heart of serenity: the story of a grieving mother and her journey to acceptance through shared unbelonging. Known as “A Handful of Mustard Seeds,” this parable, retold by Helen Rollins in her short film Allone, shows us that serenity doesn’t come from isolation or detachment but from shared connection and compassionate presence.
A Handful of Mustard Seeds
The story centres around a mother whose only child has died. Distraught and unwilling to accept her loss, she cradles his body as she wanders the village, desperately seeking someone who can bring him back to life. A neighbour directs her to an old, wise woman who lives up the mountain.
The mother approaches this wise woman and begs for help, “Please, my son has died, and you must bring him back to life.”
The wise woman listens patiently and tells her, “I can help, but I need a special ingredient to make the potion—a handful of mustard seeds from a household that has never experienced suffering, death, or loss.”
The mother hurries back to her village, hopeful, and begins going door to door, asking for mustard seeds. Though willing to give her the seeds, each family reveals that they also know suffering, loss, or hardship. She listens as each household shares its own story, and as time passes, for the first time, she also begins to speak of her grief. Her understanding of loss slowly deepens, and she begins to feel a shared connection with her neighbours. In time, she finds herself able to lay her child to rest, not because her grief has vanished, but because she’s come to accept it through connection with others.
In the original parable, she observes, “This is not a truth for one village or family. But for every world settled by gods and men—this indeed is what is true: impermanence.”
Reflections on A Handful of Mustard Seeds
This parable reminds us that we are not alone in our pain. Our suffering and sense of isolation often grow when we believe no one else can understand or share our experiences. The mother’s initial solution—to restore what she’s lost—seems like the only way to ease her pain. But her journey among her neighbours reveals a profound truth: that serenity is experienced when we connect with others in the commonality of suffering.
The wise woman doesn’t try to convince the grieving mother to “move on” or offer platitudes. Nor does she deceive her with the solution she offers. Instead, she meets the mother where she is and, with awareness and compassion, guides her towards acceptance, knowing that the journey itself will be transformative. This approach reminds us that when we’re alongside someone who is hurting, our role is not to offer solutions but to be present with them, to honour their needs, and to share in their search for peace.
This story calls us to ask: How do we respond to the pain of others? Sometimes, we can jump to offering advice or talking down expressed feelings and needs. But genuine compassion lies in truly seeing others and journeying with them, allowing them to explore their needs and experiences in their way. In this space of shared humanity, they—and we—can find serenity.
Serenity as Shared Humanity
Serenity, then, is not a perfect, peaceful destination. It is an acceptance of life’s inherent messiness, pain, and uncertainty—a connection with others amid this shared reality. We find serenity when we surrender the need for a flawless future and embrace the imperfections and struggles of ourselves and others. It’s a moment of release, where we let go of the belief that our loneliness or pain is unique, opening ourselves to the comfort of shared connection.
When we feel alone in our struggles, it might be time to “go and get some mustard seeds”—to connect with others and remember. Together, we find that serenity isn’t about escaping life’s challenges but growing more deeply into ourselves and others, finding peace through acceptance, awareness, and compassion.
