In 2015 Caroline Garnet McGraw’s wrote an article for the Huffington Post. It was called “You Don’t Owe Anyone an Interaction”.
It soon went viral. And by the end of the year she had delivered a TEDx talk of the same name.
Wind the clock on five years, and I have just finished chatting with Caroline about THE BOOK! Yes, it’s now a book!
Perfectly described as a memoir meets personal (personal) development, You Don’t Owe Anyone, speaks into a common experience. The belief that we must submit to the plethora of expectations. From the world around us. And from within.
The book is a practical call to be free from the weight of expectations. Since the initial article, there is something about this idea that has always resonated with people.
I spoke with Caroline about some of the ideas in the book. She goes through 10 areas of life we can feel unhelpful responsibility towards. There are implications to living life with no boundaries around the weight of expectations.
But you don’t owe anyone…
- The “Good Child”
- Your Spiritual Allegiance
- A Saviour
- A Brave Face
- Your Forgiveness
- Superhuman Strength
- Over Compliance
- An Explanation
- Your Time and Energy
- An Interaction.
In The Conversation We Discuss:
- How we can recognise the impact of intangible personal development work when things don’t work out as planned.
- The links between expectations and a fear of disappointment.
- How holding to the weight of expectations might be impacting our lives life.
- What we sacrifice when we submit to those expectations. Where we feel like we do owe energy, time, and attention to things that don’t truly matter to us.
- How “Cold Bucket Experiences” can start an inner mission. For which we exchange our authenticity in order to avoid the pain of criticism and judgement.
- Why guilt isn’t a reliable indicator of whether or not you should do something. And how feelings of guilt often tell you that something IS worth doing.
- Why so many of us feel obligated to explain and justify ourselves for doing things in particular ways.
- How changing our language in small and subtle ways can help free us from the weight of OUR OWN expectations.
- How to playfully fight the protective urge to explain all the reasons what we’ve done isn’t very good.