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Confidence in Unexpected Places | The Haven Library

Resources to inspire, equip, and encourage gentle rebels, deep thinkers, and highly sensitive people

Confidence

Confidence is about knowing we will be okay even when things don't go to plan.

We often treat confidence as something to conjure up through sheer willpower—"fake it ’til you make it." But deep confidence isn’t a performance. It’s what grows when we find small pockets of safety to trust.

In The Haven, we don’t consider confidence a personality trait you’re born with (or without). It’s the gradual accumulation of evidence that we can survive missteps—evidence gathered through small, repeated experiments in trusting ourselves, others, and the world around us.

This is especially vital for a highly sensitive nervous system that picks up on raised eyebrows and subtle tonal shifts. We need more than mindset hacks. This isn’t about requiring a perfect safety net to begin—it’s about identifying the sources of safety already around us, however fragile, and learning to lean and build on them.

Confidence Archive

Explore the archive of "Confidence" resources. You will find links to all posts below.

Alternatively, if you can't decide what to read, you can roll the dice and you'll be taken to a random post from the Confidence archive.

Close-Up Photo Of Text by Kelly from Pexels (Free use via Canva)

Do You Want To Be More Spontaneous?

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Are you spontaneous? Can you go with the flow when plans change or if something catches your attention and invites you to follow it? In…

Safe-To-Fail

We Develop and Grow When It Feels Safe To Fail

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Confidence grows when we feel safe to fail and make mistakes. Sports people typically attribute confidence to believing they can beat anyone. So I was…

grow without grimacing

Can We Grow Without Grimacing At Our Past Self?

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“If you’re not grimacing every time you look at old work, then you aren’t growing.” I was haunted by this tweet from 2021. It suggests…

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Is Survivorship Bias Making You Feel Bad About Yourself?

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Survivorship bias occurs when we only focus on successful outcomes and ignore those things that didn’t make it “to the other side”. It can lead…

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Fear of Success – Why Desired Change Can Be Hard To Implement

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Perfectionism and a fear of failure can hold us back from doing what matters to us. But what about fear of success? In this episode…

Feeling-Seen

Do You Find It Unsettling To Feel “Seen” By Others?

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I don’t know about you, but I find it strangely unsettling when I feel seen by the world around me. Have you ever had one…

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You Don’t Owe Anyone an Interaction (with Caroline Garnet-McGraw)

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In a culture that glorifies busyness and constant availability, Caroline Garnet McGraw’s You Don’t Owe Anyone offers a radical yet simple truth: you don’t owe…

Don't Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Why “Step Outside Your Comfort Zone” is Bad Advice for HSPs

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“Growth begins at the end of your comfort zone!” We’ve all heard the mantra. It’s the battle cry of motivational speakers and productivity gurus everywhere.…

Nurture More Confident Humility By Embracing Impostor Syndrome

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In Think Again, Adam Grant highlights latest research into confident humility and impostor syndrome. It suggests that impostor feelings are more important in the recipe…

Fake It Till You Make It

Why “Fake It Till You Make It” Might Not Work for Highly Sensitive People (HSP)

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“Just fake it till you make it, and eventually, you’ll fit in and feel like you know what you’re doing.” Sound familiar? For many, “fake…