A Phrasebook To Help Us Enjoy Our Shared Language [Haven Digest]

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Shared language is a crucial element of human connection. It enables us to define abstract ideas, express concepts, and convey our thoughts, beliefs, aspirations, and recollections.
Here in The Haven, I have noticed how language affects our feeling of safety and belonging. As a community grows, a shared language naturally emerges. I recently created a Phrasebook to document and provide context for our evolving shared vocabulary. This will help define the words that have organically become a part of our shared language.

The Joys and Challenges of Shared Language
As well as being a beautiful connection point, it is alienating when everyone speaks a common language we don’t understand. This doesn’t just apply to foreign languages; it is true of abbreviations, jargon, and references we use.
You may have experienced this feeling before when starting a new job, pursuing a new interest, or spending time with a different group of people. Sometimes things are said and done, and it’s unclear what’s happening. This can leave you confused and unsure of what you might have missed.
We learn and adapt very quickly, and as such, we can forget what might seem alien to people who haven’t been here before.
But this doesn’t mean we should eliminate shared language. I’ve seen that attempted, usually by those in charge who feel threatened by it. It’s just something to be mindful of. I get excited about new Havenites (members of The Haven) joining the community. I hope they feel a sense of belonging, contributing to our ongoing collective story through a constantly evolving language.
Community language emerges from meaningful conversations. Misheard words. “Aha!” moments. Anecdotes, technical terms, and implicitly agreed-on definitions of words often used in different ways (e.g. “gentleness”).
I hope that a Phrasebook will provide a helpful reference guide so that no one is left scratching their head when they hear something weird. And I encourage all members to share anything they hear or read that they don’t understand so that I can add it to the HPB (Haven Phrasebook – I just made that one up).
Around The Community

General Conversations
Confused by a word you’ve seen/heard in The Haven. Drop it in this discussion and I will add it to the Phrasebook.

Creativity & Play
Do you use Procreate? There’s some important information about backing up your files before September 2023…

Mind, Body, Soul
Glimmers are small moments that spark joy, peace, safety and connection. How can collect and appreciate them in everyday life?
Coming Up

Join us on Monday for our next Live Café session.
Focused time can often feel hard to come by. The Live Cafe Hour is an opportunity to spend 80 minutes “alone together” alongside other members and focus on what matters most.
It’s the perfect opportunity to catch up with those important (but non-urgent) activities. Or receive gentle accountability to focus on that thing you’ve been putting off.

Theme Kota | Sunday 1st October 2023 (6pm UK)
As social beings, humans are wired for belonging. But in a judgemental and critical world, it doesn’t always feel safe to be yourself, especially when you don’t seem to see or experience the world in quite the same way as other people.
We will bring our Haven hive mind to these questions:
- What does belonging mean to you?
- What tells you it’s safe to “be yourself”?
- In what ways are you different around people you feel safe with?
- What characteristics in other people help you feel safe and connected?
Whether you want to get actively involved in the conversation or quietly observe and absorb, you are so welcome to join us.


Catch Up (Replay)
Book Club | The Wisdom of Insecurity
We explored themes from Chapter Five (On Being Aware) and Chapter Six (The Marvelous Moment) of The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts. We talked about taking note of glimmers and making space for awe.
