the benches
Take the weight off and see what emerges
The bench is found among the trees, along the paths, and in the quiet corners. It is often ignored, overlooked, and walked past in the busyness and onward rush. It is a spot of consistent belonging; an invitation to all who wander by. To pause. Rest. Be. No booking, purchase, or performance required.
The bench is a site of contemplation, daydreaming, greeting, departure, request, observation, satiation, inspiration, reflection, honesty, waiting, laughter, and gathering.
It treats us as equals around a cornerstone of rhythmic repetition and dependability.
This is a liminal waiting room. An in-between space. The silent companion, providing a front-row seat for the ordinary theatre of everyday life.
Sometimes together. Sometimes alone.
It holds stories. Bearing the weight of lovers, loners, neighbours, wanderers, and wonderers. Beginnings and ends. To sit and dream. To sit and remember. Holding close a present absence. Always welcomed, never turned away.
Have you ever felt like you're constantly adapting to fit moulds, expectations, and standards from a world not shaped for you?
Maybe you've grown used to masking your inner world to keep the peace. Or you've been told (or made to feel) you're "too sensitive," or "too much." So you adapt to comply, performing the person you're expected to be. Squashing down the parts that don't fit.
Many people have told me they feel like they've "found their people" around The Haven. I often wonder what this means because we're a community of difference and diversity, too. It's deeper than sharing opinions and having the same preferences. We are not "like-minded" in that sense. And yet, we share something.
Relief when someone accepts, understands, and puts words to your internal experience
Comfort, knowing you don’t have to explain yourself, perform, or pretend in order to fit the crowd
Joy from gentle conversations that can go beyond surface small talk (but don't have to)
Excitement through the creative energy that flows when you feel safe, seen, and unhurried
Peace that arises from non-transactional acceptance, at the level of being
You ARE An Impostor (eBook and Video)
Have you ever felt like you don’t belong? You're not alone.
You Are an Impostor is a playful and gently provocative exploration of something many of us carry but often treat as a problem to solve: the feeling of being an outsider or a fraud. I wrote this book not to help you "overcome impostor syndrome" but to question why we feel the need to overcome it in the first place.
Our society often tends to pathologise perfectly natural human experiences, then sells us fixes based on the illusion that other people are whole, certain, and unshakably confident. This book pokes at that illusion. What if feeling like an impostor is not a flaw, but a sign that you’re still engaged, still human. Not confusing the role you play for who you are?
If you’re tired of pretending you’ve got it all together, and curious about what happens when we stop trying to fit in and start noticing how no one does, this might be a good companion for the road.
Stories From The Bench
Do you have a favourite bench or place to sit?
Is there a particular experience involving a bench that sticks with you?
Let's share our stories and photos (or doodles/artwork) in the Community Gallery.
If you're looking for a place to meet people who 'get it' without needing to explain or justify yourself, then I'd be delighted to welcome you home!