The Haven Book Club Presents...

The Courage To Be Disliked

How to free yourself, change your life and achieve real happiness

Spring 2023

"No matter what has occurred in your life up to this point, it should have no bearing at all on how you live from now on." - The Philosopher

Join Andy to explore ideas from ‘The Courage to be Disliked’ by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

The Courage to Be Disliked introduces us to Alfred Adler's core ideas through an ongoing dialogue between two friends: an older "philosopher", who practices and teaches Individual Psychology; and a "youth", who is dissatisfied, frustrated, and confused by the world. The conversation takes place over five nights and opens up an Adlerian approach to viewing ourselves, one another, and our experience of the world.

In many ways, Adler provides a practical philosophy underpinned by the premise that people have the capacity to change and that our actions serve goals that we consciously and unconsciously choose for ourselves.

It's a nice alternative to a lot of the simplistic self-help advice for people-pleasers, perfectionists, and those who experience crippling self-consciousness and social anxiety.

  • Are our actions influenced by what others think of us?
  • How is the courage to be disliked a road to personal freedom?
  • Where does this courage come from?
  • Is it true that people can change if we choose to and that our past doesn't necessarily dictate our future?
  • How do we change parts of ourselves and our lives that we are dissatisfied with?

"Why are you rushing for answers? All your doubts will be dispelled through this dialogue. And you will begin to change. Not by my words, but by your own doing. I do not want to take away that valuable process of arriving at answers through dialogue." - The Philosopher

We are studying this book during our Spring season. It feels appropriate to take our time and explore it slowly so we can enjoy our own valuable process through dialogue.

You're welcome to join us anytime. Replays and summaries of previous meetings are available and there are ongoing conversations about each section of the book in our discussion forum.

Dates and Chapters

Part 1 | Deny Trauma (Sunday 8th January 2023, 6pm UK)

Part 2 | All Problems are Interpersonal Problems (Sunday 5th February 2023, 6pm UK)

Part 3 | Discard Other Peoples' Tasks (Sunday 5th March 2023, 6pm UK)

Part 4 | Where The Centre of the World is (Sunday 2nd April 2023, 6pm UK)

Part 5 | To Live in Earnest in the Here and Now (Sunday 30th April 2023, 6pm UK)

If you miss any of the sessions or you can't make it live, replays of each meeting will be available to catch up on afterwards.

Book Club meetings last approximately 90 minutes. I will begin each one with a 10-15 minute summary of the chapter we are exploring. Then we move into our discussion. I will send out questions a few days before so you will have chance to reflect on them ahead of our conversation.

Though it's not vital, it will make it a more enriching experience if you are able to read the book. It helps to give context to the ideas we will talk about (a shared understanding of definitions).

You are welcome to just come and be — there’s no expectation or pressure to get actively involved in the discussion.

I can't wait to see you there and dive into this interesting and challenging read together!

Join The Book Club

These sessions are included as part of The Haven Monthly Pass. It's just $15/month and you get access to all events and resources inside the membership. You are welcome to cancel anytime if you don't find value in it or it feels like too much of a time stretch for you.

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