7. Sensing Glimmers of Home (Anchored Book Club)

Can you think of a sound, smell, sensation, taste, or image that gives you a glimmer of “home”? A sense of inner connection with the world. This post is inspired by Chapter Seven of Anchored by Deb Dana. We are reading the book in the Haven Book Club this season. I’d love you to join us.

It might be the aroma of freshly cut grass. The taste of home-baked cookies. Perhaps the signpost on the highway that tells you you’re home. The feeling of a hot cup in your hands on a cold day. Or the sound of children playing in the park across the street.

Deb Dana says that “glimmers are all around us, but from a state of protection, they are very hard to find”. When we feel strained, rushed, or numbed out, our nervous system becomes less attuned to the points of connection around us. She says, “Even when we are anchored in safety and connection, we can miss glimmers if we’re not looking”.

We lean towards a negativity bias because our basic biological survival instincts prioritise noticing and avoiding danger before looking for evidence of safety. In a world of relentless noise, ceaseless demands on our time, and constant sensory stimulation, we have to “actively look for, take notice of, and keep track of these moments, or micro-moments, of safety and connection that are our glimmers”.

Glimmers sit on the flip side of triggers. Where a trigger cues a state of protection, a glimmer cues a state of connection.

Glimmers are:

• Anchors that take us upwards and back to a foundation of strengthened regulation.
• Small things. When we are open to spot them, we see them everywhere in daily life.

Glimmers affect how we feel and even how we appear to others. They help our body and face relax, softening muscles around the eyes and drawing out a smile. We might notice this in other people, too. “Why are you smiling?” we may ask the person who “didn’t realise” they were.

Glimmers come in unexpected encounters with the world. But they can also be predictable anchors we intentionally set along the path of our routine.

Set a Glimmer Intention

Dana suggests we invite ourselves to look out for and notice glimmers. For example, we could say, “I am open to noticing glimmers on my path today. I will step outside and find one on my lunch break.”

Keep a Record of Glimmers

By keeping a record, we can remind ourselves of where glimmers come from and use the list itself as a glimmer when we’re feeling dysregulated and disconnected.

Practice Letting Go of Glimmers

Glimmers are fleeting not permanent. We might feel sad as they come and go. This is why Dana suggests building around predictable glimmers you know will be there. Over time, we can build confidence in the knowledge that even as we let go of one, more are waiting for us to notice and play.

As we learn to pick up and let go of glimmers, we become more present and able to maneuver from a state of protection into connection.

Check out the latest Book Club Discussions in the Forum.