Naming Your Inner Critic [Haven Digest]

We all carry an inner critic with us.

At its core, this voice tries to keep us “safe”, often by compelling us to pull back from vulnerable positions. It picks up cues during experiences we don’t want to go through again. So it devises plans to avoid situations and environments that could potentially feel uncomfortable.

We explored the characteristics, quirks, and particulars of our inner critic in this week’s Open Kota. We even took photos of them.

In his article, “Stop Trying to Silence Your Inner Critic and Learn to Make Friends with It Instead“, Nick Wignall writes, “the problem with the common advice about silencing your inner critic is that you can’t...The harder you try to silence your inner critic, the louder and more intrusive it gets.

“Running away from fear is fear, fighting pain is pain, trying to be brave is being scared.”

Alan Watts (The Wisdom of Insecurity)

When you treat your thoughts like an enemy, that’s what they become.

In our Open Kota, Tuula led us in a Photoyoga For Your Mind prompt, in which we identified, embodied, and made a tangible entity from our inner critic. It was fascinating to learn more about the voices other people carry with them and the differences these have for each of us.

There is something about turning a critical voice into a character that somehow lessens its impact. It becomes identifiable, specific, and easier to interpret.

Around The Community

General Conversations

What is The Haven to YOU? I’d love your input!

Creativity & Play

Our Gallery of Inner Critics

Mind, Body, Soul

Do you feel bad about “taking up space” in the world?

Coming Up Soon

Join us on Monday for our next Live Café session.

Focused time can often feel hard to come by. The Live Cafe Hour is an opportunity to spend 80 minutes “alone together” alongside other members and focus on what matters most.

It’s the perfect opportunity to catch up with those important (but non-urgent) activities. Or receive gentle accountability to focus on that thing you’ve been putting off.

Theme Kota | Sunday 1st October 2023 (6pm UK)

As social beings, humans are wired for belonging. But in a judgemental and critical world, it doesn’t always feel safe to be yourself, especially when you don’t seem to see or experience the world in quite the same way as other people.

We will bring our Haven hive mind to these questions:

  • What does belonging mean to you?
  • What tells you it’s safe to “be yourself”?
  • In what ways are you different around people you feel safe with?
  • What characteristics in other people help you feel safe and connected?

Whether you want to get actively involved in the conversation or quietly observe and absorb, you are so welcome to join us.

Catch Up (Replay)

Open Kota – July (Inspiration and Inner Critics)

The Open Kota is a chance to share reflections, ask questions, and bring anything that’s on your mind to the group.

Follow along with Tuula’s Photoyoga Prompt