Reconnecting with who we left behind beneath the cold bucket of water

True belonging starts as an inside job.

We are wired to seek safety. It's how we survive as a social species.

It can have a detrimental impact on our wellbeing when we feel out of place. Like we don't belong.

But what does it mean to belong in a vast and complex world?

Do we really want to fit in if it means hiding who we really are?

Can we experience a more enriching, meaningful, and authentic sense of belonging?

Yes! At least that's what I think.


What do I need right now?


What am I letting go?


What is changing?

The Haven is Open

From The Kota

Blessed are the Weird - Kota

Blessed Are The Weird

“Blessed are the weird people: poets, misfits, writers mystics, painters, troubadours, for they teach us to see the world through different eyes.” - Jacob Nordby

We often seek answers to the question of how to fit in better. But what if it is by embracing the absolute fact that we don't fit where we find the freedom to truly belong?

How might let our weirdness shine brighter in the world? Not to stand out or show off, but as a defiant act of compassion...where onlookers might see something of their own weirdness in us.

We feel a sense of belonging when we realise no one truly fits. There is no "inside". Let's be outsiders together!

Join The Haven to Access The Session

Everything is Borrowed - Kota

Everything is Borrowed

How do you treat something that doesn't belong to you?

We are exploring the links between belonging and ownership or possession. How do we hold the things in our lives (people, things, ideas, expectations etc)? How do we allow ourselves to be held?

Do we treat everything through the eyes of ownership or stewardship? What are the implications of these positions?

Join The Haven to Access The Session

Over Empathy Workshop New

Stop Taking Unwarranted Responsibility Other People's Emotions

We were joined by Marika Vepsalainen, who is a Coach for Spiritual Growth and Leadership from Helsinki, Finland. She helps sensitive people use their empathic abilities in ways that bring them expansion, well-being and joy.

Have you developed over-empathy as a survival strategy? If you've been exposed to an environment of fluctuating emotional energy, you might have taken on the responsibility of soothing, harmonising, and regulating other peoples' feelings. Relegating and suppressing your own deep needs and emotions.

If that sounds familiar, I imagine you will find Marika's presentation really helpful!

Belonging Archive

Browse the gallery of articles, interviews, and past events related to the theme of Belonging

How Cold Bucket Criticism Extinguishes Joy and Creativity

By Andy | March 28, 2023

In her book, You Don’t Owe Anyone; Caroline Garnet-McGraw tells the story of a “Cold Bucket Experience” when she had just finished her first dance…

Is Our Impostor Syndrome Telling Us Something?

True Belonging, Impostor Syndrome, and The Joy of Not Fitting In

By Andy | September 29, 2022

True belonging starts within. Rather than something someone else will give us, belonging can only emerge when we first accept ourselves at the level of…

Blessed Are The Weird | Theme Kota (Belonging)

By Andy | September 27, 2022

“Blessed are the weird people: poets, misfits, writers mystics, painters, troubadours, for they teach us to see the world through different eyes.”– Jacob Nordby In…